Lisa Simpson Quotes
Bart: Nothing you say can upset us, we're the MTV generation.
Lisa: We feel neither highs nor lows.
Homer: Really, what's it like?
Lisa (shrugs): Meh...
Homer: Oh Lisa, there's no record of a hurricane ever hitting Springfield.
Lisa: Yes, but the records only go back to 1978, when the Hall Of Records was mysteriously blown away!
Marge: Whatever happened to good old-fashioned town pride?
Lisa: It's been going downhill since the lake caught fire.
Lisa: Dad has the worst luck when he's drinking
Marge: I don't want handguns in my house! Don't you remember when Maggie shot Mr Burns?
Homer: I thought Smithers did it.
Lisa: That would have made a lot more sense.
Marge: No chores, no allowance.
Lisa: Okay, we get our room and board free anyway.
Lisa: We only get nine, ten years tops when we can giggle in church, and chew with our mouths open, and go days without bathing. We'll never have that freedom again!
Lisa: How am I supposed to hallucinate with all these swirling colours distracting me?
Lisa: Bart, having never received any words of encouragement myself, I'm not sure how they're supposed to sound. But here goes: I believe in you. Come on Bart, remember what Vince Lombardi said: "If you lose, you're out of the family".
Lisa: I'm about to read you a classic tale of terror by Edgar Allen Poe.
Bart: Wait a minute! That's a schoolbook!
Lisa: Don't worry Bart, you won't learn anything.
Lisa: Friends? These are my only friends. Grown-up nerds like Gore Vidal, and even he's kissed more boys than I ever will.
Lisa: Slave labour - you get what you pay for.
Marge: So maybe a part-time job is the answer.
Bart: Aw, mum, I couldn't ask you to do that. You're already taking care of Maggie, and Lisa is such a handful...
Lisa: She means you should get a job, stupid!
Lisa: My God! I've created life!.
Marge: Lisa, breakfast! We're having waffles!.
Lisa: Ooh, waffles!.
Lisa: What's so special about this game, anyway? It's just another chapter in the pointless rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville. They built a mini mall, so we built a bigger mini mall. They made the world's largest pizza, so we burnt down their City Hall.
Lisa: I like you too Milhouse, but not in that way. You're more like a big sister.
