Marge Simpson Quotes
Herb: So, Marge, a little about yourself.
Marge: Hmm, well, I met Homer in high school. We got married and had three beautiful children.
Herb: Wow, we've got so much catching up to do.
Marge: Actually, I pretty much told you everything.
Lionel Hutz: Mrs Simpson, what did you and your husband do after you were ejected from the restaurant?
Marge: We pretty much went straight home.
Lionel Hutz: Mrs Simpson, you're under oath.
Marge: We drove around until 3am looking for another all-you-can-eat fish restaurant.
Lionel Hutz: And when you couldn't find one?
Marge: We went fishing!
Marge: Wake up!
Homer (sleepy): What's wrong? House run away? Dog on fire?
Marge: Homie, do you think the romance has gone out of our lives?
(Homer belches)
Marge: Wake up!
Homer: Marge, it's 3am and I worked all day!
Marge: It's 9.30pm and you spent your whole Saturday drinking beer in Maggie's kiddie pool!
Marge: Homer, I've gone through seven years worth of receipts, and you've spent less on gifts for me than you have on temporary tattoos.
Homer: Sometimes I think we're the worst family in town.
Marge: Maybe we should move to a larger community.
Marge (to Lisa): By the way, I oiled the hinge on your diary.
Marge: You know how unpredictable the French are. One minute their kissing a woman's hand, the next they're chopping off her head.
Marge: What the hell is a dwelling?
Marge: You bought a car without consulting me?
Homer: I don't recall being consulted when you bought that hat.
Marge: I found this hat!
Marge: Hey kids! I made your favourite cookies: Christmas trees for the girls and bloody spearheads for Bart.
Marge (to Bart): I'm proud of you honey. You're finally giving something back to the community after taking so, so much.
Marge: Oh, for Pete's sake! Why is that monkey wearing a diaper? I thought he was housebroken!?
Homer and Mojo: Eh!
Marge: You said this monkey would be sweeping the floors and cleaning the gutters, and now he just lies there, struggling to breathe!
Homer (looking at his flab): Marge! How could you let me let myself go like this?
Marge: Me? I'm not the one who puts butter in your coffee!
Marge (to Lisa): In a few years, when you're old enough to drive, then you can take a bus.
Marge (to Homer): I brought you a tuna sandwich. They say it's brain food, I guess because there's so much dolphin in it, and you know how smart they are.
Manjula: I never knew Apu could be so romantic!
Marge: I can't believe it! He covered your whole bed with wildflowers!
Manjula: Oh, I'm sure Homer has done that for you!
Marge: Well, sometimes I find pickle slices in the sheets...
Marge: You know, Fox turned into a hardcore sex channel so gradually, I didn't even notice.
Marge: This family has had it's differences and we've squabbled, but we've never had knife fights before.
Ruth Powers: I envy you and Homer.
Marge: Thank you. Why?
Ruth Powers: If you ever met my ex-husband, you'd understand. All he ever did was eat, sleep and drink beer.
Marge: Your point being?
Kang: We offered you paradise. You would have experienced emotions a hundred times greater than what you call love and a thousand times greater than what you call fun. You would have been treated like Gods and lived forever in beauty. But now, because of your distrustful nature, that can never be.
Marge: For a superior race, they really rub it in.
Marge: It's time we opened up a can of whup-tushie on this situation!
Marge (to Homer): That's your solution to everything: move under the sea - it's not gonna happen!
Marge: Oh, Homie, I like your in-your-face humanity. I like the way Lisa speaks her mind. I like Bart's...I like Bart.
Marge: We have roots here Homer. We have friends and family, and library cards...Bart's lawyer is here.
